The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin.     - Mark Twain

Ours Forever – Another Dschinghis Khan Ripoff

August 29th, 2010
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Earlier I mentioned about MBD stealing music from Dschinghis Khan. He’s not alone. Michoel Streicher is in the game too!

Michoel Streicher – Ours Forever Get Adobe Flash player

Dschinghis Khan – Moskau (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQAKRw6mToA)

What else does Jewish music rip off? I guess that here it’s ok as those Nazis stole from us so therefore we can steal from them (Dschinghis Khan is German). More info about Dschinghis Khan can be found here.

On that page, it says about Moskau,

“Their song Moscow was a big hit in Australia in 1980, staying at #1 for five weeks. The song had been used as the theme music for the Channel 7 coverage of the Olympic games held in Moscow in the same year.

While the group broke up in the mid-1980s, the German video for ‘Moskau’ was a part of the show ‘Disco’ on ZDF; as was their similarly-staged number ‘Dschinghis Khan.’”

Personally I find the ripoff to be in poor taste.

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Gatorade apparently kosher in Canada without hechsher – most FlavOUrs

August 25th, 2010
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An anonymous Bachur had asked the OU (Orthodox Union) if the Gatorade in Canada is Kosher (as the OU places a Hechsher on most US-based Gatorade products), and where to find them. This was their answer:

“Dear (Ploni Almoni),

Thank you for checking with the OU regarding your Kashruth question.

Grape flavored and powdered Gatorade can only be used when bearing an OU symbol on the label. The other flavors can be used even without an OU Kosher symbol on the label.
The following Gatorade products are certified OU Kosher pareve, even in Canada:

  • Brand Name Label Name Symbol
  • Gatorade All Stars Berry OU
  • Gatorade All Stars Ice Punch OU
  • Gatorade All Stars Strawberry OU
  • Gatorade Berry Favored Gatorade Rain OU
  • Gatorade Berry Flavored Gatorade Rain – Canada OU
  • Gatorade Cascade Crash OU
  • Gatorade Cherry Flavored Gatorade Rain OU
  • Gatorade Cherry Lime OU
  • Gatorade Cherry Rain OU
  • Gatorade Citrus Cooler OU
  • Gatorade Citrus Cooler Flavored Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Cool Blue OU
  • Gatorade Cool Blue – Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Fierce Melon OU
  • Gatorade Fierce Melon Flavored Gatorade for Canada OU
  • Gatorade Fierce Strawberry OU
  • Gatorade Fierce Strawberry (Blue Rush) Flavored Gatorade for Canada OU
  • Gatorade Fruit Punch OU
  • Gatorade Fruit Punch Flavored Gatorade – Canada OU
  • Gatorade G2 Blueberry Pomegranate OU
  • Gatorade G2 Fruit Punch OU
  • Gatorade G2 Fruit Punch 1-5 Concentrate OU
  • Gatorade G2 Glacier OU
  • Gatorade G2 Grape OU
  • Gatorade G2 Grape 1-5 Concentrate OU
  • Gatorade G2 Lemon Lime OU
  • Gatorade G2 Low Calorie Electrolyte Fruit Punch Beverage – Canada OU
  • Gatorade G2 Low Calorie Electrolyte Grape Beverage – Canada OU
  • Gatorade G2 Low Calorie Electrolyte Orange Beverage – Canada OU
  • Gatorade G2 Orange OU
  • Gatorade G2 Strawberry Kiwi OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade All Stars – Berry Flavor OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade All Stars – Ice Punch OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade All Stars – Strawberry Flavor OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade AM – Cran Raspberry OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade AM – Orange Strawberry OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade AM – Tropical Mango OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade Frost – Cascade Crash OU
  • Gatorade Gatorade Rain Strawberry Kiwi Flavored OU
  • Gatorade GEF LeLi RTD OU
  • Gatorade GEF Orange RTD OU
  • Gatorade Glacier Freeze OU
  • Gatorade Grape (Quiet Storm) OU
  • Gatorade Lemon-Lime Flavored Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Lemon Lime (LeLi) OU
  • Gatorade Lemonade Classic OU
  • Gatorade Lemonade Flavored Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Lime-Cool Fusion OU
  • Gatorade Lime Flavored Gatorade Rain – Canada OU
  • Gatorade Lime Ice OU
  • Gatorade Lime Ice Flavored Gatorade – Liquid OU
  • Gatorade Low Calorie Fruit Punch OU
  • Gatorade Low Calorie Grape OU
  • Gatorade Low Calorie Orange OU
  • Gatorade Mango OU
  • Gatorade Orange OU
  • Gatorade Orange Flavored Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Orange Strawberry OU
  • Gatorade Propel Black Cherry OU
  • Gatorade Propel Lemon OU
  • Gatorade Rain Berry OU
  • Gatorade Rain Lime OU
  • Gatorade Rain Strawberry Kiwi OU
  • Gatorade Rain Tangerine OU
  • Gatorade Riptide Rush OU
  • Gatorade Strawberry Ice OU
  • Gatorade Strawberry Ice Flavored Gatorage – Liquid – Canada OU
  • Gatorade Strawberry Kiwi OU
  • Gatorade Strawberry Kiwi Flavored Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade Strawberry Kiwi Flavored Gatorade – Canada OU
  • Gatorade Tangerine Flavored Gatorade Rain – Canada OU
  • Gatorade Tropical OU
  • Gatorade Tropical Fruit Flavored Gatorade – Mexico OU
  • Gatorade Tropical Mango OU
  • Gatorade X Factor Fruit Punch with Berry OU
  • Gatorade X Factor Fruit Punch with Berry Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade X Factor LeLi with Strawberry OU
  • Gatorade X Factor Lemon-Lime with Strawberry Gatorade OU
  • Gatorade X Factor Orange with Tropical OU
  • Gatorade X Factor Orange with Tropical Fruit Gatorade 5 to 1 Concentrate OU

We have a fully functional Product Search for most OU Certified Industrial, Consumer, In-house and Private Label products. The product search can be accessed online at
http://oukosher.org/products.

Please don’t hesitate to contact us again should you have any further questions.

With our sincerest wishes for a pleasant summer season, we remain,

Sincerely yours,

The Web(be) Rebbe

For more information about Kosher, please visit our website,
http://oukosher.org.

Listen to the world’s leading experts in Kosher share their knowledge on
Kosher Tidbits, and view and listen to over 100 major
ASK OU presentations now playing on
OU Radio.”

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Gd Communicates in Landers Through the Internet

August 8th, 2010
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As an alumnus of Touro College‘s Lander College for Men in Queens, I was always fascinated when people didn’t initially believe me stating something peculiar about the Bais Medrash. That strange fact is, there’s a (terminated) wired connection INSIDE the Aron HaKodesh (Holy Closet that stores a Sefer Torah). Hard to believe, but it’s true.

A number of years ago (1999-2000), my uncle Gidon Presser was working for a company called Corporate Automation (now defunct), leading a team of network cable guys to wire the, at the time, non-completed Landers campus. Apparently, at the time, the place that became the Bais Medrash was thought of initially to be some sort of presentation room, and a couple of network cables were placed in the area that became the Aron HaKodesh in order that one can plug in a laptop or monitor that connected to the internet. Clearly, this was before Wireless connections were harnessed like they are today. I was told that since then, there likely was a false ceiling covering the connectors, now terminated. Move the ceiling away and you can see the wires.

Anyways, I went through Landers not finding whether or not the story was true. How could I? To open the Aron while people would be sitting in the Beis Medrash, exposing the Sifrei Torah just to satisfy a curiosity would be embarrassing!

A year and a half after I graduated (I graduated in 2005, so it was Fall, 2006), I decided to spend the last days of Sukkos/Simchas Torah at Landers in order to be with some friends. Simchas Torah is the ONLY DAY OF THE YEAR where the Aron is open in full view, all the Sifrei Torah are taken out, and people are dancing. I then realized that this was my chance to find out. Amid the dancing and singing, I went to the wide-open Aron, looked inside at the top-left corner, and lo and behold, there were two unshielded Cat5 RJ-45 jacks in plain view, one reading i-29 and i-30!

Go know! Landers was more modern than met the eye! Gd truly needs to communicate with today’s generation!

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14 lesser known Murphy’s laws

July 22nd, 2010
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1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time,on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

11. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

12. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

13. When you go to Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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Chinese Walmart

July 17th, 2010
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Supposedly, these photos are real and haven’t been photoshopped.

This reminds me of an old joke: A Chinese person and a Jew start chatting. The Chinese guy says (mind the “l” and “r” interchange), “our rerigion is the ordest, as it is over foal [four] thousand yeals ord.” The Jew replies, “our religion is even older, as it is over 5,000 years old.” The Chinese guy exclaims, “That’s impossibre! What did you guys eat to sulvive for 1,000 years?” (bah-dom dom)

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Chicken Before Egg Mystery Solved – Go Religion!

July 14th, 2010
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The answer to the age old question of “which came first, the chicken or the egg” seems to finally be answered scientifically, according to Time.com. Apparently, research from British scientists in Sheffield and Warwick revealed that the chicken had to come first. The rationale was that one protein—ovocledidin-17 (OC-17)—is only found inside a chicken’s ovaries, and is essential for eggshell formation.

The Torah has stated for thousands of years that the animals, and therefore the chickens, were created by Gd Ex-Nihilo. To deny Gd in this case would be nothing short of dumb. Go religion!

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Star Wars on a New York City Subway Car

July 14th, 2010
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This is too funny! A brilliant mixture by ImprovMedia of Star Wars, a cult favorite, and the New York City Subway, one of the most famous in the world.

This video has close to 25,000 views since being uploaded yesterday, and is well on its way of going viral.

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Neturei karta in Toronto July 6, 2010

July 7th, 2010
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Neturei karta on yonge street and shepherd in front of the Madison centre. Located in Canada

These people are extremists that do not represent mainstream Judaism AT ALL.

As far as we know their stand is that the Messiah cannot come to redeem the world with Jews occupying the land of Israel. We were “supposed ” to be kicked out in any way and the Messiah would redeem us that way, fulfilling a certain Talmudic verse in Kesubos 111a in a twisted manner. In that verse, it states that should we enter Israel “by force,” we will be slaughtered like sheep, etc.

In the end, they do not deserve our attention and certainly do not represent us.

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The Emmanuel School Issue – Some Thoughts

June 30th, 2010
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R' Ovadia Yosef - Why Wage Wars?

R' Ovadia Yosef: "Why Wage Wars?"

Misconceptions

Recently there was a lot of press about a certain school in Emmanuel, and that a big issue on discrimination there was that it wasn’t allowing Sephardi girls in it’s strictly Charedi Ashkenazi grounds for ethnic reasons. The parents even took their own girls out of that school and started their own school. In an country where the government funds all Yeshivot, this was deemed illegal and that the parents send their girls back to the school they were at before. To add this issue, the school forbade any Sephardi girl from entering the school. This prompted various petitions from Sephardi parents on their girls not being permitted into the school. And, in a country built on secular values, where religious values are not only eschewed, but completely misunderstood, this further perpetuates a Chillul Hashem. To add to that, Rav Ovadia Yosef Shlit”a allegedly said that Sephardi students shouldn’t study in an Ashkenazi Yeshiva, since an Ashkenazi mind will not know Torah. I attempt right now to dispel both myths in one shot.

Some Facts About the School in Emmanuel

First off, the girls school in question that’s located in Emmanuel currently boasts 30% Sephardim. In a recent article in the Jewish Press, it states that the major issue was indeed religious rather than ethnic, as the question was, who owned TV sets at home and who didn’t. As the quality of TV shows has morally deteriorated over the years, some parents and institutions protective of their children have decided to eschew Television from their midst, as this would interfere with religious studies and perhaps even Yiras Shamayim. Ashkenazi Haredim have historically favored this route, where Sephardim have for the most part been less stringent. This Yeshiva’s policy, being that it’s an Ashkenazi Haredi institution, was historically against owning a TV set in house. Now, the crux of the issue was that the Sephardi girls who were owned Television sets were inviting their Ashkenazi classmates into their homes for dinner, study sessions, or just to have fun. Inevitably, plenty of the girls were becoming exposed to the “box with pictures,” as I once heard a TV humorously described as. As a result, many of the parents of Ashkenazi girls took their children out of the school due to them being exposed to TV, which invariably was due to the influence of the Sephardi girls. When the Israeli government came in, they jailed any parent that didn’t abide by the order to send their kids back to that school for 2 weeks. The Yeshiva in turn forbade any person that owned a TV from entering the school, which is a surprising, yet common, phenomenon in Israeli Haredi schools. This is something that the media will never state since, in my opinion, it’s an issue that it simply can’t relate with, since their entire market is of TV viewers in the first place.

The Israeli secular media will never understand it since the concept of no TV is so foreign to them. Therefore, many will laugh at people whom they don’t understand. For example, here’s Latma TV’s “The The Tribal Update” recent parody of this issue, where one can see the correspondents smirking the whole time:

What Rav Ovadia Yosef REALLY Said

Now, as for Rav Ovadia Yosef, when he said what he said, he was responding to what was happening in Emmanuel. During his weekly conclusion of Shabbat sermon, Rav Ovadia Yosef’s stated his reasoning was that “There are Sephardi schools in Emmanuel, 140 students, and the Sephardim went and petitioned with the High Court about their daughters not being admitted into an Ashkenazi school. Let them go to a Sephardi one! Why the wars?” He further stated that the Halacha states that each group should attend their own institutions when possible. To quote,

“A Sephardi man must enroll his sons into a Sephardi Talmud Torah school to begin with … There are various practices, we have our own tradition, why change it? Do the girls who studied with the Ashkenazim know our own practices?! A student who goes there will have an Ashkenazi brain, won’t know the Torah!”

Reading Rav Ovadia Yosef’s statements in this context, the picture becomes clearer. He’s stating that Sephardi people should follow a Sephardi Mesorah, which Ashkenazi institutions typically don’t teach. “They won’t learn what we teach elsewhere. We have good cantors teaching the Bible’s accents, and they don’t know our accents,” he said. Yet, he’s not knocking the Ashkenazi learning model at all. The rabbi  in fact stressed that he is grateful for the Ashkenazi education model, which has yielded Torah greats of all affiliations at a time when there were no Sephardi establishments. “We would have been lost had it not been for the independent Torah education.”

Further, the Rabbi has further noted there were more Sephardi yeshiva students than Ashkenazi ones and many Sephardi yeshiva heads, and added, “Why change and introduce a High Court trial involving the seculars? … Why wage wars and go to the High Court and its judges? It’s a matter of Torah. There are rabbis and courts…If there are claims, one should approach a rabbinic court.”

Yet, while R’ Ovadia Yosef has admitted that to a certain degree there is discrimination in Ashkenazi Yeshivas, keeping a quota of 20%-30% Sephardim, he’s stated that this is merely the situation at large. One Jew isn’t inferior to another Jew, and certainly, one’s Torah isn’t inferior to another’s. To suggest such implies insecurity. In the end of the day, today, following Mesorah, such as cantillation notes, etc. is about as important as following to Torah, and that’s what R’ Ovadia Yosef was saying.

Again the Emmanuel school issue was about stringent religious practices in light of a culture rapidly deteriorating due to the junk that TV now has today, not ethnicity. Torah values never have been, and never will be, based on the color of ones skin or where the person was born.

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Some eye-openers about Israel

June 25th, 2010
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Joyce Kaufman. The 7 Reasons to Support Israel.

At an event commemorating the first full year of weekly rallies in support of Israel held at Broward Boulevard and Northeast Third Avenue in Fort Lauderdale Florida keynote speaker Joyce Kaufman a WFTL 850 talk show host details “The 7 Reasons to Support Israel.” Content News, Israel & Politics All content Copyright Channel1Images Inc 2009.

A Soldier’s Story – AIPAC Policy Conference 2010

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