This is, IMHO, a hilarious depiction on what’s happening in the Middle East today.
In English:
In the original Hebrew:
חד ביתא
Archive for the ‘Merry Mishmash’ Category
Chad Gadya in the Middle East
Saturday, April 17th, 2010
Masks and Rattles – They’re Not What They Once Were
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010On the occasion of Purim, the Israel Antiquities Authority is presenting an online exhibition of ancient masks and rattles
In honor of the Purim holiday, the Israel Antiquities Authority is presenting a new virtual exhibition on its website, www.antiquities.org.il , of masks and rattles that were discovered in archaeological excavations around the country.
Appearing in the exhibition are various masks that portray humans and animals, the oldest of which is from the Stone Age and dates to c. 6500 BCE.
A mask may change a person’s identity, his age and gender, social status and everyday appearance. Many ceremonial masks were used for ritual purposes such as rainmaking, curing disease and exorcising spirits and demons. Oftentimes such masks were in the image of deities or demons.
The use of rattles during the reading of the scroll is a symbolic expression of the extermination of the Amalekites, the first people whom the Israelites fought when they were wandering in the desert (Exodus 17:8-13). According to tradition, Haman was a descendant of the Amalekites.
Clay rattles that contain small stones or other materials for making noise were found in archaeological excavations in the country. The rattles occur in a variety of shapes, some are adorned with a painted or engraved decoration, but all of them produce the same noise that is characteristic of a rattle.
Most of the rattles were found in a cultic context or inside tombs and therefore there are those who believe that they were primarily used for ritual purposes. The frequency with which rattles occur in excavations throughout the country is explained by the fact that they are small objects that were relatively easy to manufacture and were used by the general population. There is the assertion that the clay rattle was an important musical instrument in the religious practices of the Kingdom of Israel and the Kingdom of Judah during the First Temple period.
My Zaida and the Rabbi with horses
Tuesday, January 19th, 2010When my Zaida (grandfather) was alive, one of the things that I noticed about him, was that in spite of him never having Smicha (Rabbinic ordination) he always found spare time to learn Torah, and oftentimes he tried to drag me as a child into learning with him. While I was, at times, bored to tears at the poor English the occasional spit that accidentally emitted from his mouth when he spoke, in retrospect the sheer effort he put into learning Torah and trying to transmit some of that bespoke volumes. Not only that, he conducted himself in a sweet, genial manner. When I wanted to play, he would always loosely quote a phrase he learned while in the labor camps: “What work you have for tomorrow, do today. What eating you have for today, eat tomorrow.” He would rephrase that as “what learning you have for tomorrow, do today. What playing you have today, play tomorrow.”
It was no wonder, then, that as a child I always asked him why he never became a Rabbi. He always replied with the following story.
Once there was a Rabbi who taught cheder to twenty students, most of whom let the information go in one ear and out the other. He did this for a number of years. One day, this Rabbi quit his post, shaved his beard, changed his clothes, and became a “balagula” (Yiddish short form for “ba’al-’agala” – horse-and-wagon driver). An old friend of his was passing by and was shocked to see this former Rabbi in that state.
He asked him, “what happened? Why did you leave the relatively lofty post of cheder Rabbi to tend to a mere horse?” The former Rabbi replied, “זאָגן מיר, וואָס איז בעסער, צו טענד צו איין פערד, אָדער צו טענד צו צוואַנציק האָרסעס?” (Tell me, which is better, to tend to one horse, or to twenty horses?)
Oslo What?
Monday, January 18th, 2010Another oldie but goodie.
This is the late 1970′s. Jimmy Carter, Menachem Begin, and Anwar Sadat had just signed the Oslo Peace Process. Shortly afterwards, they went to the western wall to say some prayers. As soon as they were done, an interviewer asked each one what he prayed about.
Jimmy Carter, who was the first to be interviewed, stated while keeping his stupid grin, “I prayed that Israel would eventually give everything to the Arabs and move to the US so that us Americans can take full advantage of their talent, while paying them pennies.”
Anwar Sadat, the next to be interviewed, said, “I prayed that one day Israel will be driven right into the Mediterranean Sea.”
Finally, Menachem Begin, the typical Yid, replied when asked, “I prayed for vorld peece.” When informed about what the other two prayed about, he replied nonchalantly, “Vat do I care? לאָזן יענע שמוקקס גיין רעדן צו די פאַרשטונקען וואַנט!” ( Let those shmucks go talk to the f*****g wall!)
The beggar and Reb Amschel Rothschild
Monday, January 18th, 2010Oldie but goodie.
In the early 1800′s, a certain beggar once approached Amschel Mayer Rothschild, and wanted to be clever about collecting money from him. As was the style at the time, people used to use first-letter mnemonics to summarize a sentence. And to make things more clever was to make the mnemonic into a familiar word. The word the beggar used was for the alternate word Talmud, Gemara (or “Gemooreh” in Chassidish pronunciation).
So, our beggar friend approached R’ Amschel and exclaimed to him, ” גמר”א ” (GeMaRA)!
R’ Amschel asked him “what does that mean?”
The beggar replied, ” גוט מורגען, רב אמשל ” (Good morning, Reb Amschel).
R’ Amschel replied, “Ah! גוט מורגען ” (Good morning).
The beggar once again says, ” גמר”א ” (GeMaRA)!
“What now?’” Asked the wealthy R’ Amschel.
The beggar tells him, ” גיב מעוס, רב אמשל ” (Give money, Reb Amschel).
R’ Amschel gives the beggar money.
The beggar once again says, ” גמר”א ” (GeMaRA)!
“What now?’” Asked an already impatient R’ Amschel.
The beggar tells him, ” גיב מער, רב אמשל ” (Give more, Reb Amschel).