Archive for the ‘Just Plain Funny’ Category

14 lesser known Murphy’s laws

Thursday, July 22nd, 2010

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don’t.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time,on a hill, in the fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.

10. Flashlight: A metal tube used to store dead batteries.

11. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

12. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

13. When you go to Court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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Chinese Walmart

Saturday, July 17th, 2010

Supposedly, these photos are real and haven’t been photoshopped.

This reminds me of an old joke: A Chinese person and a Jew start chatting. The Chinese guy says (mind the “l” and “r” interchange), “our rerigion is the ordest, as it is over foal [four] thousand yeals ord.” The Jew replies, “our religion is even older, as it is over 5,000 years old.” The Chinese guy exclaims, “That’s impossibre! What did you guys eat to sulvive for 1,000 years?” (bah-dom dom)

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Star Wars on a New York City Subway Car

Wednesday, July 14th, 2010

This is too funny! A brilliant mixture by ImprovMedia of Star Wars, a cult favorite, and the New York City Subway, one of the most famous in the world.

This video has close to 25,000 views since being uploaded yesterday, and is well on its way of going viral.

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Spanish for your Nanny

Wednesday, March 10th, 2010

Rich women learn some hilariously meaningful Spanish.

Here’s the direct link to download. Enjoy!

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The Essence of Chutzpah

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Chutzpah is a Yiddish word meaning gall, brazen nerve, effrontery, sheer guts plus arrogance; it’s Yiddish and, as Leo Rosten writes, no other word, and no other language, can do it justice. This example is better than a thousand words…

A little old lady sold pretzels on a street corner for 25 cents each. Every day a young man would leave his office building at lunch time and as he passed the pretzel stand he would leave her a quarter, but never take a pretzel.

And this went on for more then 3 years. The two of them never spoke. One day as the young man passed the old lady’s stand and left his quarter as usual, the pretzel lady spoke to him.

Without blinking an eye she said:

“They’re 35 cents now.”

The young man replied, “For three years I gave you a quarter without taking a pretzel. Didn’t you realize something?”

To which she snapped, “take, don’t take, I don’t care either way. I’m just telling you that they’re now 35 cents.

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Computer problems?

Monday, February 8th, 2010

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Paul, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Paul clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?  He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’

I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, ‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’

Paul grinned…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before? ‘No,’ I replied.  ’Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Paul,  the little bastard.

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To all female drivers

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

Gd bless women drivers! I mean, there are women that can drive well and are therefore drivers that happen to be female. But then there are “woman drivers.” Check below.

Get the Flash Player to see this content.

YES, it’s a woman!

Women Driver Very Funny Awards

When it annoys us men in a male-dominated world, we take action! Certain traditional groups in various religions, like Judaism and Islam, have therefore made women driving “Assur,” albeit for different reasons.

Hasidic Village Keeps Women Out of the Driver’s Seat

http://www.forward.com/articles/2065/

The woman is not allowed to drive in Islam

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Wacky Photos

Monday, January 25th, 2010
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‘Tefillin’ Prompts Scare On Plane

Thursday, January 21st, 2010

What I find strange is that FBI spokesman J.J. Klaver said at a morning news conference that Tefillin are “something that the average person is not going to see very often, if ever.” What are we, in the middle ages?

A plane from New York’s La Guardia Airport was diverted to Philadelphia after a teenage passenger put on a religious item disrupting the flight Thursday morning.

Authorities say, Chautauqua Airlines flight 3079 from LaGuardia to Louisville was diverted to Philadelphia after a 17-year-old male strapped on a “tefillin” for prayer purposes after takeoff.

Sources say a female flight attendant had never seen a tefillin before, which has two small black boxes with black straps attached to them and one box was placed on his head and the other tied to his arm. The attendant became concerned and reported it.

The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) says they were notified of a “disruptive passenger” on the plane and as a result was diverted to Philly.

The plane that departed LaGuardia at 7:25 a.m. landed in Philadelphia at 8:50 a.m. and the teen and his 16-year-old sister were met by Homeland Security and the Philadelphia Police Bomb Squad.

“Per standard procedures, TSA and law enforcement personnel met the flight. The disruptive passenger was interviewed, the plane was swept with negative findings, and the flight is taxiing to the gate,” the TSA.

The commuter plane operated by Chautauqua Airlines under the US Airways name was occupied by 15 passengers who according to sources were unaware of the incident.

No charges have been filed and the plane remains on the ground at Philadelphia International Airport.

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Seinfeld – Kramer Karate Sessions

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

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