Archive for the ‘Kids’ Category

Erev Pesach – Oh, the joys of parenthood!

Monday, March 29th, 2010

Anyone who’s a parent can appreciate this.

I B”H have a beautiful baby daughter, Leah, who’s turning 23 months and is fast approaching her “terrible twos.” Yet, even when she’s mischievous she’s the most adorable thing on earth. Here’s a case in point.

Over the past year, my daughter has developed a taste for Shabbos Challah. Whenever she would spot Challah she’d pipe up in an almost questioning tone “Challah?” Usually that meant that she saw Challah, and she wanted it. She would also say, for “Gut Shabbos,” “Shabbos,” and for “Shabbat Shalom” she would say slowly, though melodically, “♫♪ Sha-lo-mein! ♪♫” These are the things that give us such Nachas.

But then those things can and will be used for terror when we least want it. This year, in preparing the house for Bedikas Chametz, my wife and I took a loaf of bread and cut up golf-ball sized pieces of bread, carefully placing a piece of paper towel underneath each piece in order to mitigate the amount of crumbs being spread. While my wife and I were preparing, we noticed that my daughter took one of the pieces from the living room that were within her reach, paper towel and all, and started scurrying to her bedroom, nearly biting into the piece, while cluching it like it was buried treasure. My wife caught her JUST before little Leah reached her bed. When my wife came back, she and I were holding onto our hearts since the Chametz scare was a close one. All of a sudden, Leah, in a perfectly timed manner, called from her room “♫♪ Challah? ♪♫” The shock plus her absolute cuteness had me rolling on the floor in laughter.

Oh, I almost forgot, Leah now copies everything that we grown-ups do “to a T.” She can now say phrases in English and Hebrew, say “Wazzup!” and even imitate the gob-gobbling of a turkey, since most times she acts like one. Well, now, she copied me and started HERSELF falling on the floor, laughing her ever-cute baby laugh, and then saying “♫♪ funny, Abba! ♪♫”

Does anyone here have any cute pre-Pesach stories to share?

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Sesame Street – Put Down the Duckie

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

Ernie gets a lesson from Mr. Hoots.

“Put Down the Duckie,” a joyous sing-and-squeak-along that features cameos and time of first appearance.

1:25 John Candy
1:32 Andrea Martin
1:47 Keith Hernandez and Mookie Wilson
1:49 Jane Curtin
1:54 Madeline Kahn
1:58 Joe Williams
2:04 Pee Wee Herman
2:10 Ladysmith Black Mombazo
2:32 Wynton Marsalis
3:04 Celia Cruz
3:06 Itzhak Perlman
3:10 Gordon Jackson and Jean Marsh
3:15 Paul Simon
3:26 Jeremy Irons
3:29 Pete Seeger
3:32 Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman
3:37 Sean Landeta, Karl Nelson, Mark Ingram, and Carl Banks

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Seinfeld – Kramer Karate Sessions

Tuesday, January 19th, 2010

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Sesame Street: Ernie and his Rubber Duckie

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

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The ‘Middle Wife’ by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I
have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw
in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell.
So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get
over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in
pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like
that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them.
If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re
welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright,
very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the
class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant.
‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his
birthday.’

‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their
love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in
there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow,
and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.

‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying
and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and
groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’
(Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies,
but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got
my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her
back against the wall.)

‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept
in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all
over the bed, like psshhheew!’
(This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water
flowing away. It was too much!)

‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and
‘breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten.
Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky
stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center,
(placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got
out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.’

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and
returned to her seat. I’m sure I applauded the loudest.. Ever since
then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case
another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.

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